Fear of Failure

It is now that time in my life to make the transformation from child to adult.
I can no longer sit on the sidelines, using only my brain to get me through.
I can't squeak by anymore, barely capable of standing up and doing what needs to be done.
The time has come,
but I am so not ready for it.

I am now supposed to take that giant leap into the world of adulthood.
The day in and day out, same bullshit routine,
pay the bills, pay the bills,
skate by in life.
Barely clip the lines.
Cut back here to throw some in there.
Lack of food.
Lack of faith.
Lack of truth.
And this is what I am getting myself into.
Then it's going to be hell.
Work, school, study, sleep.
This will mean NO life for me.
But what kind of a life will I have anyway?
I don't go places and meet people.
So here are my fears for the future ahead.

Someone just hand me a contract to sign my life away,
because I'd rather make music day in and day out,
tour the world,
sell records,
and get paid for my passion,
than to be stuck in a pathetic little life like the rest of my wonderful family.
Pondering when the right time is exactly to off myself,
because suicide seems to be a trend with the ones who don't have children.

I crave more than this place can give.